A Loving Hand - a sermon

A Loving Hand
Matthew 18:15-20 (Romans 13:8-14)
Chris Byars

I’m what they call a Gen-Xer and the thing about my generation is that we were the generation of great change. PCs, Laptops, Dayrunners, Palm Pilots, Cell Phones all came into existence and we became the multi-tasking generation and were hard to label or define for the most part. It could also be said that our generation helped to ‘invent’ ADD and ADHD because often times we have so many things going on in our heads that we can seem so scattered, but often focused at the same time. We hated labels, but often we would end up embracing them – you had punks, Goths, non-conformists, skaters, etc. They go on and on. From my generation and beyond the world has had a drastic shift in how we understand things, for example when you hear the term ‘cut and paste’ most no longer think of scissors, paper, and glue. There are other things that have changed also, many of them positive, but some very negative for example the ideas of love, responsibility, accountability, sin, and judgment.
No longer can it be assumed when these things are spoken of that everyone will know exactly what you are talking about or will understand it the same way as you do. With things like accountability and responsibility, I believe, they have been affected the most. When I was a kid I had a temper. My parents had divorced when I was four and I was angry. I had seen a lot of fights up to that point and I was angry and that translated into a temper. My parents did remarry one another when I was nine, but when I was younger and began going to school, I was angry and I got into a lot of fights. So much so, that in the first grade I was very familiar with the principles office and had many an argument with my teacher in the midst of class. The reason was I needed something of a structure in my life and I needed that in class, in school, but I wasn’t receiving it from my teacher. Midyear this teacher and the principle tried to label me as a problem child and wanted to send me to a different school. Fortunately this did not happen and I was moved to the other first grade class at my school with a teacher that was very strict and fair and I loved it. I was never allowed to excuse my behavior on my past – my parents wouldn’t allow it. Society has moved from trying to stuff problems away to pulling them out in the open, but when they do this they also try and place blame away from the perpetrator.
You hear it with everything that has happened recently along the Gulf Coast, especially in New Orleans. We have this great tragedy with Hurricane Katrina and look at what’s happening! We have people looting, shooting at rescue helicopters, etc. The media and some ‘experts’ try and explain it away because of what has occurred. I know that I can understand with food that some would break into a grocery store to get food and drink for their family, but stealing is still stealing. People are stealing clothing, jewelry, electronics, guns, etc. The tragedy that occurred is bad enough, but the greater tragedy is that we tend to see more of the negative and have experts try and explain it away instead of truly calling the negative, negative and focusing on the great acts of humanity throughout this suffering. In general, we live in a time where instead of dealing with the issues that are confronting us we look for pills or other things to cover up the issue. Its to the point that we have commercials on television that tell us if we feel down or depressed for a period over two weeks talk to your doctor and we have the pill for you. Never mind that along with sadness you may not feel anything else either. Our kids are often being prescribed medication to settle them down instead of dealing with them with the loving hand that they may truly need. I understand that there are many that are helped from medications for ADD and ADHD and I am not trying to prescribe for them, but is a pill always the answer? Is the past an excuse for current bad behavior? Some of you may say yes, but the question comes to what is it that we are to do as Christians? Are we called to give a loving hand of help and support? What is meant and how can we determine that?
Now we come to these verses of Romans and Matthew that tells us of love and of dealing with wrong doing. We read it and what is it saying, what are we being told to do? We are a community of faith, but what does that mean? What differentiates us from the world? Jesus was asked by a teacher of the law, “What is the greatest commandment?” and in Matthew 22:37-40 he gives us the greatest commandments:

Matthew 22:37-40 (NIV)
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

In our love of God we are called to love, we are called to love our neighbor as we would ourselves. So, first we must understand and know what love is and really know the love we have for ourselves. And in our reading for today from Romans it is explained for us. We are to be indebted to no one except in love.

Romans 13:8-9 (NIV)
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Love writes the law on our hearts. We are changed inwardly by the love of Jesus Christ. As we grow in that love the desire to do those things to harm it fall away. Ezekiel 11:19-20, put it this way:

Ezekiel 11:19-20 (NLT)
And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their hearts of stone and give them tender hearts instead, so they will obey my laws and regulations. Then they will truly be my people, and I will be their God.

Our hearts are turned away from those selfish interests that divide us from others and place us in community in Christ and Christ’s love. In our world today we have differing views of love and what that means. Love is turned as I spoke of earlier to a feeling of desire and often times a sexual desire. How often is it that we hear these words either on TV or movies? “But Daddy I love him?” or “We’re in love.” Often right, you watch a TV show which is portraying High Schoolers in all this drama, whether it be The OC today or whatever show. They are sleeping around and doing all these things in the name of love. The love that they show tends to selfish and self-serving; it is convenient, so we begin to understand this term love as being equal to lust. Is that truly all there is? Just a fantasy, something created in a studio for us to view on TV or in the movies? Is our concept of love being reduced to a concept defined by what we watch, listen to, or read? Or do we know this thing called love a little differently? Let me ask you this…how do we know love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This is a verse that many that aren’t familiar with their Bible probably recognize. It is said at many weddings, but in a world with divorce at such a high and throw away relationships being more of a norm is this truly believed? If the world’s view is so dark when it comes to love and marriage, how do we know it? How do we know this love that is described above? The love that is described above is the love that Christ gives us and as followers of Christ why would we give any less to anyone else? Love turns our hearts. I understand that there are those that don’t love themselves and one might ask, “If someone doesn’t care for her own well-being why would she care for another?” The odd thing about this if someone is fighting depression or low self-esteem she usually really cares for others and placing them above her own well-being. For that reason as a community we are to come together and pour the love we receive through Jesus Christ back on those that feel unloved or unlovable.

Colossians 3:12-14 (NIV)
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Why is it that when we hold up boundaries of petty differences that stop us from loving our neighbors? Issues that have nothing to truly do with eternity, minor issues that become giant obstacles stand before us. Is that how we are called to live in community? Someone misspeaks or disagrees with a view or a mindset and communication stops. Why is it that when we see someone in the midst of suffering, especially family and instead of comforting words the words that flow easily off our tongues ring as judgment and disappointment to the ears of listener? When someone is fighting depression are the words that we say truly compassionate and are they expressing Christ’s love for them or are the sounding more like frustration and disappointment? Are the words and the desires being expressed truly gentle, humble and full of patience and compassion?

Romans 13:10-12 (NIV)
Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

Love does no harm to its neighbor. That is such a powerful statement! When we truly love we forget about those selfish desires that we hold. As we grow in that love a change occurs. In love we no longer are first. We see this with parents and their children. That we see in the nights that they stay awake and all that they do because in love we become sacrificial. I know that as a child my parents didn’t have a lot of money, but they gave me all that they could and would sacrifice things that they wanted or, maybe, needed. God has done that for us in His great love giving us His son Jesus Christ on the cross for us and continually pouring down grace on us. We are no longer bound to the sin that once tied us down; we can come to God with anything and be forgiven. In love we find understanding. Christ’s love is such a wonderful gift especially in a time and an age that tells us that we should hold grudges. If someone does me wrong, I’m going to get them back. Why is it we do this? Is this truly how we want to live? How many of you feel truly happy when you are holding a grudge against someone? Not one person ever feels better when they are angry and stewing against someone, but how often is it that we truly live our lives this way?

Romans 13:13-14 (NIV)
Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

We are called into community. For that purpose there is an expected and acceptable way that we should behave. This is to promote agreement.

Matthew 18:19-20 (NIV)
“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

What a promise! When we come together in Christ in prayer, praise, and worship we are joined by our Lord, Jesus Christ. How wonderful, we are not left to our own devices, but our guided in the Spirit. This relationship is so powerful that when we come together in faith and agree, whatever we agree upon will be done by our Father in heaven. That is why we must take vows and promises seriously and with great preparation. It is true that love makes us free. We no longer have to worry or be jealous when bound in love. However at the same time that love makes us free love makes us accountable. We are no longer free to do what we desire because we are now bound in love and don’t wish to do something that may damage or injure that love. Martin Luther put it best in Freedom of a Christian:

“A Christian is a perfectly free lord of all, subject to none.
A Christian is a perfectly dutiful servant of all, subject to all.”
- Martin Luther, “The Freedom of a Christian”

Some of you may be familiar with catechism which is something that was once more commonly studied in the Lutheran church and is still commonly studied within the Catholic Church to help instruct in the faith. Well, in this teaching we discuss the various doctrines or teachings within the church tradition and one of these doctrines of faith is the Office of the Keys. The Office of the Keys is the doctrine that covers the concepts of confession and absolution, to move away from “churchy” language it is the idea of how we tell another that we trust those sins, those misdeeds, that we have done that are weighing heavy on our hearts. The purpose of this is two fold, either to forgive and release from the heavy burden or to bind depending on if there is a true desire conveyed that there is turning away and a change of heart or not. This is described in Matthew 18:18:

Matthew 18:18 (NIV)
"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”

Christ has given us an awesome gift, but also a heavy burden. Because we are forgiven in Christ we are given the ability to forgive others for the sins that the commit, but it calls for some discernment or deep thought. It is not simply to forgive, but to release from the burden of sin. If someone were to tell you his sin you may either forgive him and release him if they truly are showing a desire to repent or turn away from that sin, however if he doesn’t seem to truly show any desire to change you may also bind that sin to him until such a time that he truly shows a desire to change or turn away. What power! One may think, but if you think that you misunderstand because it is not meant to be a power that you hold over another. The reason that we are given this is in Christ we are called to be accountable for one another.
We are to be “our brother’s keeper”. We are to offer a loving hand to our neighbors to help them. We are bound as brothers and sisters in Christ and for that reason Christ desires for each of us to be willing to help one another in our suffering and our struggles. As one African Lutheran pastor once said, “Evangelism is one beggar telling another beggar where the food is.” It isn’t that we are placing one above the other, but we are just helping each other out. To understand this we need to pose the question: What does it mean to be accountable? Accountability is not judgment. Because we are all facing various issues and struggles in life we aren’t to judge someone for a misstep or gossip about it. We are to come in community and suffer with each other because accountability comes out of love. When someone is in the midst of suffering and pain she may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Accountability is freeing. The reason for this is in how we can best define accountability. Accountability is being willing to accept responsibility or to account or answer for one’s actions. This frees because there is nothing to hide. When we are accountable for ourselves and one another in a community we don’t need to worry because we know that in love we will not be judged and we are among people we can trust, so how are we to be accountable? As we look through the gospel lesson we will find that in love we are to approach one another in confidence and with concern.

Matthew 18:15 (NIV)
"If your brother sins against you go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.

We aren’t to go out gossiping and telling others about the issue, but we are to approach with great confidence and concern, not slinking up or acting like we have some dirt on them. It’s not about power, it’s about love. Sometimes that will fail so we are to involve others only when one-on-one fails.

Matthew 18:16-17 (NIV)
But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Now this is sometimes misunderstood or misused within faith communities. I was once in a conversation with a pastor in another tradition and he began to discuss this verse with me. I was troubled because he had told me that in their tradition if someone doesn’t turn away from the behavior or sin that is being called into question they kick them out of the church. This troubled me because isn’t that person the person that needs to truly be in the church? I understand that she would need to be removed from any leadership position if they held one until such a time as they turn away from the sin, but to cast them out. Uh-uh. We aren’t to be the judge; we are to be the physicians. We are to help them, pray for them, and ask the Holy Spirit to heal them. If they walk away we are to leave the doors open for their return and like the prodigal son celebrate when and if they return. We are to pray for them constantly holding them up. We are to forgive when they turn away from sin and we are to hold them to account when they refuse to turn away. These things are true and the gift and burden that we have been given in Christ. The great power of Christ is that He loves us where we are, but he loves us too much to leave us there.
As a community of faith we are given a great duty in coming together and reaching out to a community that is so desperate for the Gospel. We are called together in a community of faith that pours out upon the world the only unconditional love that exists. The unconditional love of a Father that gave His only son that we may come to Him. The forgiveness that we can know through Jesus Christ is so vast and so awesome that nothing can separate us from it apart from ourselves. We are to be filled with grace and forgiveness, but we are also called to pour that out on a world that only knows selfishness and materialism. We are to be accountable to one another as a people joined in the love affair that is Jesus Christ.

Christ’s love was poured out on the cross when He was suffering and dying it is written in Luke that He was crucified with two criminals, one on each side, and one mocked Him, questioning His divinity. The other criminal defended Jesus knowing his own guilt, but even more knowing Jesus’ innocence and in Jesus’ pain it says in Luke 23:43:

Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." Luke 23:43 (NIV)

The one who mocked and did not wish to turn away that felt righteous and proud of his acts or sin and died with no hope, but when the one that came to him knowing that he deserved what he received came to the defense of our Lord asking for forgiveness, he received it. The criminal dying along side Jesus knew his sin, knew his wrong, but what he found was far greater than what he may have ever expected. Salvation!
The great gift, the great power that we have given to us in the community of Jesus Christ is that we can walk in the knowledge that we are forgiven. No sin is too great, no sinner too bad. We are given the gift of forgiveness. We are given the promise! We are given the hope of the promise! We are to be that loving community of faith joined in love and being accountable to one another in that faith and love. Now ask yourself this: As we come for the bread and the cup, is there anything that is burdening you. Is there someone that you need to approach to ask for forgiveness or to offer forgiveness too? This gift of salvation, this gift of redemption or making new, this gift of absolution or cleansing of wrong is the freedom given to us in Christ’s love, are you willing to accept it? Is there a heavy burden you are carrying? Are you ready to give it over? Do you feel the loving hand of God pushing you to turn away from sin? Is the loving hand of God driving you to ask someone’s forgiveness? Is the loving hand of God driving you to forgive another? When you see someone in hard times do you offer a loving hand or do you look away in shame or disgust? Are you in the midst of some struggle and you are looking for that loving hand to pull you up? We are a community bound in our faith and in our love, if someone were to enter are there ways that each and every one of us may do better in showing it? God’s loving hand is out there ready for you to grasp hold have you taken it? When we approach the cross are we going to be like the one criminal mocking Christ or are we the one aware of our guilt, but asking to be remembered in His kingdom? Christ knows your heart, come to Him and let Him take your burden from you.